Michael Louis Serafin-Wells



All Soul's Day

Not really religious but love going to Choral Evensong. Always attend at St Paul's when in London and have been going to St Thomas's in New York for a year or two. It's usually on Wednesday but this week instead the service was a Solemn Eucharist for All Souls Day. Essentially a requiem. Didn't quite fully take that in before I got there. It was beautiful and I cried and cried and cried. I wrote Summer's name down on an envelope and left it next to the hymnal. Even tho she wasn't religious and I don't know if I am. Just want her to find me. After, I went to Chelsea to hear Joan Didion read from her new (released today) book "Blue Nights". It's the follow up to "The Year of Magical Thinking" - the former about the loss of her daughter and the latter about the loss of her husband. She's as fragile as I feel. A testament to grief and love in loss. I rode the M11 bus home up 10th Avenue stopping at D'Agostino's to buy fat free Half n Half and a box of Gingersnaps. I'm totally ruined, drained by days end - a crying hangover. Sober for 52 days I have this kind now instead. I'm aching for her. Always. Never stops. Only deepens, grows more keen. And then a surprise, the shock that so bereft i feel a stirring kinda love for New York. The way only the lonely and brokenhearted can, I suppose...